Dating in LA Sucks, Part I

Last night I tweeted, “ya know, I’m a cute girl. very funny and smart. got a car and job. great taste. so what’s up universe?”

It’s true. I’m not being immodest. I have it together so why do I keep meeting freaks? I’m not looking to be anyone’s paycheck, therapist or mama.

For the last couple of years, I’ve been going through what seems like an endless cycle of bad dates. I have a bad date and then “retire” from the dating world for about 4-6 months. At this rate, I’m never going to be with anyone. And, I have to stress this, I don’t NEED to be with anyone. Which is why I don’t take a more pro-active role in dating.  I can’t keep up with the girls who go on a date every night of the week. I just don’t have the patience.

Sure, I am a little wistful of the happy (or maybe not always happy) couples around me but I’m often very glad to be single because who wants to date a loser?

Earlier this year, I went on a few dates who I made excuses for but it came down to the fact he was so wrong for me. He didn’t have his shit together and like a typical chick, I overlooked it because I liked him.

So, it’s been six months and I decided to take the plunge and try this online site one last time even though half the time, the blind dates have been worthy of several movie scripts.

Our date was set at a coffee shop at 7:30. About 7:10, he texted saying he “had a good feeling and wanted to see if I wanted to go somewhere else.” As it was, I was driving and almost there. I told him to just get there and we’ll decide. Well, I was 15 minutes early and then he was 20 minutes late for the date, arriving at 7:50.

He had said he would buy the first shot of espresso but I wasn’t going to hang out in a small independent coffee shop for 35 minutes without buying anything. He was surprised I hadn’t waited for him.

We are a visual society. Attraction is a funny thing. It’s pretty much instantaneous for me. My eyeful of him left me desperate to leave immediately. From his widened eyes, I was floating his boat.

This dating site matches you based on your preferences. I had requested a tall guy in good shape within a certain age range. This man looked about my height, heavy and looked much older than his supposed 35 years.

But I try to be a good sport on dates. I really believe that a bad attitude can make or break a date. Because the coffee shop was closing (they had already mopped around me while I was waiting), we headed out to the busy boulevard.

He mentioned he wanted to buy a book so we went to a bookstore. I asked him what book it was and he wouldn’t tell me but I overheard him asking the clerk who told him it was in the self-help section.

Um. What?

Self-help books. Is this really happening?

What did I buy? I bought a mini-martini shaker set. I needed booze stat.

I need vodka, whiskey, rum, anything!

He then said he was hungry and asked if I wanted to get something but I wasn’t hungry and since I was coming down with a cold, I wanted to get going. He immediately got hostile and it seemed he didn’t believe me because he started spouting out insane reasons why someone would need to go home like, “oh, you have to wax your legs?” Um, snarky. And dude, for your information, I shaved my legs this morning. Of course, I was wearing pants so how would he know?

I did agree to a drink. He ordered a beer and I had a whiskey. He started talking about male and female energies and what he termed “whoo ha.” He was ranting about how so many women are “choosing” to be lesbians. I was losing focus. He started talking about how his family was quite wealthy and had land. Um. Yeah, turn-off.

At some point, I went to the restroom to come back to see him texting. He was angry that I wanted to go home and because it was “early,” he wanted someone to come out to meet him. Oooookay.

Time to go. He didn’t walk me to my car which is fine by me. And despite my super polite background, I didn’t thank him for the whiskey. I felt umbrage this guy ruined my night between his tardiness, weird self-help book buying and bad attitude.

So yeah, dating in LA sucks. I guess I’ll go on another date something around June 2010. Maybe the cycle of guys by then will be better. No, who am I kidding? I just need to look at dating like a job. I need to have more dates so the one or two bad ones like last night don’t stick out so much.

But really, self-help books? Okay, I’m done.

Advertisements